I need a haircut
“Should I get a haircut?”
“I think it’s been difficult to manage them lately and its too hot outside. I think I should get a haircut done.”
“Let me go to the nearby XYZ saloon and get this over with.”
The Walk
As I approach the salon, 1000 questions flood my head.
What if they cut my hair too short ?
What if they aren’t equal at the end of it ?
What if they use some weird oil on my head ?
Will they clean the razor before using it on my skin ?
Will they wash my hair afterwards ?
Will they understand exactly how I want my haircut to be ?
What if an inexperienced barber mistakenly cuts my skin ?
The Wait
As usual, there’s a huge line in waiting. Ahhh, the dreaded wait.
As I wait patiently for my turn to come, I constantly think about whom I want to cut my hair.
“Hmmmm, he looks experienced?”
“Oh no! he’s just not focussed”
“His work looks messy”
“Too much talking. Nah!”
“I think this is the perfect one. He’s listening to the customer and is taking his time”
But I almost never get the one I want. Never!
And, its my turn
And finally, they call out “Next!” and I know its my turn.
“Oh No. This is exactly the person I didn’t want me to work on my precious hair. He’ll surely spoil it.”
I’m seated on the hot seat and the million dollar question comes up.
“Sir, How would you like your hair cut?”
And my reply which has been the same for over a decade now is
“Don’t cut them too short, I want the length to be equal on all sides. Nothing fancy”
Somehow, nobody seems to grasp this perfectly. What they instead hear is
“Medium haircut”
Why do they forget the part where they had to keep all my hair equal ?
Trimmer or Scissors
Now, the next scariest thing when the barber starts off is whether they will use the good old scissors or the dreaded trimmer.
The trimmer does the job very quickly, but sometimes too quickly. And the scissors, well, it does take time but they’re the best if you ask me.
As usual, the barber decides to use a trimmer. :((
Now this is the moment where my heart starts pounding.
“The trimmer is coming close.”
“What if he makes a deep cut. There’s no going back.”
“Buckle up Sachin! This is it.”
The barber brings a small trimmer towards me. But, what I see is this.
Aaaaaaaaand. Zap!
“Oh GOD, did he cut it too short?”
Sometimes, its a yes and I feel as if I’m scarred for life.
Sometimes, its a no and I’m like “Phew!” . But the haircut session is not over yet. Things can still go bad.
After about 10 minutes of using the trimmer to butcher my hair, the barber decides to finally use a scissor and I feel a sigh of relief.
The most peaceful time during the entire session is when the barber uses the scissors. I feel at peace. At least there won’t be anything sudden and they would cut my hair carefully.
It’s not like with trimmers. One mistake. One shake up. And a patch of my hair is gone. :/ :/
And then there’s no going back.
Anyways. Over the years I’ve learnt to tell the barber I want my hair cut to be medium which is not usually what I want. The reason is that if they cut it too short initially and not not according to what I want the hair can’t grow back instantly right ?
So I tell them to cut it medium initially and I tell them to shorten it again after they ask me if the hair cut looks good. 😛😛
It’s done
Finally, the hair cut is done. And I feel like its a disaster. As usual.
I am never happy with the hair cut. I have to put up a fake smile though.
I pay the barber and I’m on my way back thinking about what I can change the next time I come in for a haircut.
This is me walking out of the barber shop.
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